Why Not Write?

I don’t know what else to do, so I guess I’ll write…

Should being laid off be that big of a surprise in the corporate world today? I have seen others suffer from downsizing. Hell, I’ve seen my own mother deal with it – she seemed to handle it much more gracefully than I. I even, inexplicably, saw it coming. Still, it hits me like a truck.

Partially for good reason, another part denial and finally pure laziness has allowed me to take “personal” days this week. What do I have to lose? Really, I think I have just been putting off the inevitable – unemployment. But, alas, tomorrow is mere hours away and marks my last day as a Content Specialist with Tribune Media Group. As of 5:00 p.m. on Thursday, January 31, 2013, I am back to where I started. Actually, I think I am even worse of than where I started… at least 10 extra steps back.

Having been fired, and now laid off, I can say that there is a difference and being laid off sucks way more. Not only was I doing my job, but I was doing it right and I was doing it well. So there’s absolutely no solace there. It just plain sucks.

I’m not one to feel sorry for myself. I tend to power through and make myself better from whatever obstacle has attempted to knock me down. But… this one is particularly rough. Maybe I’m just getting worn out, tired of struggling. It’s been an ongoing uphill war, albeit some of those battles have been much more difficult than others, and I’m spent.

So, I’m stuck. I’m tired of hearing, “Any word on the job front?” If there was, trust me, I’d be screaming it throughout the city’s streets. And don’t tell me, “You’ll find something”. Obviously I will, I don’t really have a choice. I have to carry on, but the wait until I find with what is the hardest part.

In a few months’ time, I’ll look back on this and see it as an opportunity. For now, I’m just ready to fast forward to that point.